I Don't Have Time To Dream Anymore

The title says it all.  It makes me sad to admit this, but it's the truth.  I am a dreamer.  I like to use my imagination.  I like to write.  I also enjoy the dreams I have when I sleep.  It's like a second life to me when I dream.  Many people either don't realize they are dreaming or don't care.  They don't get much out of it.  When you think about it, that's 6-8 hours of your life every day that you are not fully using when you ignore your dreams.

Dreams can tell you things about yourself.  You may dream about a time gone by when you were younger, and yet there can be lessons in those dreams that you can apply to your waking life.  You may be working on a problem, and the answer can come to you in a dream if you keep an open mind.  Some people Lucid Dream.  That is to say they've perfected the ability to know they are dreaming in a dream.  They use it to solve problems, be creative or just have fun.

Dreams can leave you in a happy mood the next day or leave you feeling a little down sometimes, but they are a part of you.  They've been a part of me my whole life, and I like them.  I especially like the clear dreams that don't find me struggling to recall them as I wake up.  I used to keep a dream journal.  I still have it here somewhere.  That helped me make sense of my dreams, and it helped give me the ability to occasionally have a Lucid Dream.

I see family members who are no longer here, and it brings me comfort.  They're still with me in my heart, and maybe they really are still out there in that place where our dreams exist.  It could be a whole other world that we tap into in our subconscious, when we are sleeping.  Then, reality gives us the cold hard slap that pulls us away from that world every day as we wake up.  Society itself doesn't value dreams, but there are cultures in the world that know how important dreams really are.

I not only see those loved ones, visit old places and meet people in my dreams that I don't know in waking life, I also go to dark places.  I recently had a disappointment when I was unable to do something I really wanted to do.  I saw somebody in a dream who I still have negative feelings for.  In reality, I don't have anything to do with them and wouldn't harm them, but in that dream, I got violent towards them.  I don't know why that happened as it's never come up in a dream before and had nothing to do with the disappointment I was dealing with.  The scary part was I woke up in a better mood.

Sadly, I just don't have time for my dreams these days.  I keep no dream journal for better understanding.  They are like passing strangers that you meet as they walk by.  I might think about them when I wake up, but then I have to face a life of uncertainty.  I don't even have dreams in the waking world it seems.  They just don't seem to matter in the future that I am facing.  Things I need to deal with on a personal level go ignored while I worry about how I'm gonna pay my bills and maintain what I have.

No thoughts of the loving relationship I desire and haven't had all these years.  No thoughts about being who I truly am inside.  No seeing myself in some wonderful place a year from now, doing something I enjoy.  I just don't have time to dream.  It makes me sad.  It makes me wonder why I continue the daily struggle sometimes.  Where's it all going?  I don't know.  I suppose what keeps me going in absence of my dreams is the curiosity of what's to come next.  Sometimes I feel like a spectator, just watching my life as it plays out before me.