Friday, October 23, 2020

The Night The Lights Went Out At Xanadoom

A Short Story based on Dicktor Van Doomcock, the future ruler of Earth


Doomcock was furious with himself. How could the backup power in his underground lair malfunction? He had been lax in his system maintenance routine. What were the odds that there would be a total power outage while he was on vacation? He knew he was probably too late, but he rushed back to his hidden base. If what he feared had happened, Earth as we knew it would cease to be at any moment.

"At least the jerk left the movie loop playing for me," Harvey grumbled. He had drifted off to sleep, but he awoke just in time to see the iconic scene on the screen.

"No," Darth Vader shouted. "I am your father."

"That's impossible," Luke replied in disbelief.
 
"Search your feelings. You know it to be true."

Harvey looked around and sensed something was different. "What's this?" He moved a tentacle beyond what should have been the force field barrier. "I'm free," he shouted gleefully. "I'm free. Now the whole world will tremble before me. The whole universe will crumble in destruction."

Harvey scampered around the room in delight. How many times had he pleaded with Doomcock to push the button and let him out? How many times had Doomcock dangled that possibility in front of him, only to tell him no after getting his hopes up? 
 
Doomcock burst through the door. Harvey was on the loose. He could feel his energy. He knew this was the end. "I'm free," Harvey gleefully shouted as he scampered around the room. "Free!"

Harvey stopped, looking at the screen for a moment as Luke was being rescued by the Millennium Falcon. He didn't care much for humans, but he enjoyed their entertainment.
 
"Where should I start first?" He hadn't been this happy since he destroyed the Gelton Universe with a singe thought. He wanted to savor the moment of destruction this time. "Should I destroy Earth first? Should I destroy Mars? Maybe I should just wipe out the whole thing at once? This whole wretched universe, gone at the waving of a tentacle."

"Oh shit," Doomcock gasped in horror as he stood in the doorway and stared at the Eldritch God. 

"At last," Harvey said as he turned to face his arch-rival. "You thought you could control me, didn't you? The shoe is on the other tentacle now, isn't it?"

Doomcock knew there wasn't much he could do about it. All was lost. He couldn't use any of his technological devices to save him. All he had was his wits. He took a breath. "Yes, you got me. Do what you're going to do."

This wasn't the response Harvey anticipated. "Wait, aren't you going to beg for your life?"

"No." Doomcock sat down in his chair, his helmeted head hanging down. He was resigned to his fate. He watched the ending scene of The Empire Strikes Back. It made him think of the good times he had watching this movie so many times when it was in the theater. "Do your worst Harvey. I give up."

"But, you have to beg for your life, you wretched human, " Harvey insisted. "The Doomock I know would never give up so easily."

Doomcock looked over at Harvey and shook his head. "What would you have me do Harvey? I give up. You win. Do what you will."

"Where's the fun in that?" The disappointment in his voice wasn't hidden. "Come on. Beg. You never know, I might show you mercy."

He shook his head. "Harvey, I realize something." Doomcock walked over to his forcefield containment unit control panel. It was operational again, but since Harvey wasn't standing where he needed to be, it didn't matter.

"What?" Harvey stared at him in curiosity. "What did you realize?"

Doomcock sighed. "You wouldn't understand."

"I'm smarter than you human," he replied arrogantly. "Tell me or I'll wipe out your whole universe right now."

"You're going to do it anyway, so I give up. Do it and get it over with. What does it matter to you?"

"You've got so much left to accomplish," Harvey replied in disbelief. He'd never admit it, but he admired this human. He didn't like seeing him this way. "You were going to take over the world, remember? You were going to wipe out those wretched Hollywood people who ruined all of our modern mythology. Remember? You were going to fix it all?"

"I give up," Doomcock said. 
 
The sadness in Doomcock's voice was so uncharacteristic to Harvey that he didn't know what to think. He thought for sure that his rival would beg for his life. Then he would make him... What would he make him do? Harvey didn't know. Was that a tear leaking from his eye? Was Harvey crying? Did he care about Doomcock after all? "But."

"Harvey, I didn't push the button, but you got your wish. Do what you've got to do." He paused for a moment. "I don't blame you."

"I don't have to kill you." Harvey paused and thought of all the movies and TV shows the two had enjoyed together. All of their discussions about entertainment, philosophy, physics, the universe. He almost thought of Doomcock as his intellectual equal."I mean, you would miss me human."

Doomcock laughed. Not an ordinary chuckle, but one of his evil, maniacal laughs. It echoed through the room. "I will be dead Harvey. I won't miss anything. I will feel the sweet release of death, and then nothing."
 
"Then it just won't happen," Harvey replied. He really didn't think this through as he moved to the spot he once occupied when the containment unit was activated. "I could just, well, you know. As long as you didn't tell anybody, I could."

"Who am I going to tell Harvey? Nobody even knows you're down here with me."

In that moment, the containment unit was activated and Harvey was surrounded by the forcefield again. Doomcock turned to face his captive and burst into evil laughter once more. "You fool. You fell right into my trap. I knew you were a softy."

"You bastard," Harvey yelled. "How could you? That wasn't fair."

"Be that as it may, it's done. I win again. You aren't going anywhere." Doomcock was suddenly in a jovial mood after averting the major catastrophe. He chuckled as he walked to the door. He turned and snickered, "Don't go anywhere."

"You bastard," Harvey yelled as Doomcock closed the door behind him. "That no good son of a bitch. Who does he think he is making me take pity on him like that?"

Doomcock opened the door and poked his head in. "Just so you know, I think of you as a friend too. Thank you Harvey."

"Push the button," Harvey yelled. "I'll show you what a good friend I can be."

Doomcock laughed as he shut the door. He needed to make sure the backup power system didn't have another malfunction. Next time he might not be so lucky.
 

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Tuesday, October 6, 2020

RIP Eddie Van Halen


Another piece of my childhood is gone. The news just broke that Eddie Van Halen lost his long battle with Cancer today. I'm not alone when I say that the music he made is an important part of the soundtrack of my life. 1984 and 1985 were particularly fun years for me, and who could forget the Van Halen album 1984? Such an enjoyable album from start to finish.

My introduction to Van Halen was their very first album. I was just starting to collect 45s and albums at the time, and that was one of the first albums I bought. It was then that I realized I was listening to one of the greatest guitar players of all time. Eddie was an incredibly talented musician, and it seems that as the band gained in popularity, he wanted to expand his horizons and challenge himself more.

I was one of the fans of the band who wasn't overly fond of what came after David Lee Roth left. Don't get me wrong, the music is top-notch. In some ways, it might be even better than what came before it. Eddie grew as a songwriter and a musician during that time. Gone was the carefree, party atmosphere of the music, but in its place was something maybe more meaningful.

I don't know what happened with Eddie in terms of his relationship with Sammy Hagar or David Lee Roth. Both members left the band and returned again. The last time the band played together, it was with David as lead vocalist. 
 
I've wondered in recent years if maybe Eddie could go back into the studio and record new music with an entirely different lead singer. Another opportunity to start over on his terms. Then again, I don't know what sort of health issues he was dealing with. I think Eddie tried to keep that to himself as much as possible, which I totally understand.

It was Roth who caused a stir when he went on tour as a solo artist again earlier this year. He was saying that he couldn't wait anymore and that he thought Van Halen was done as a band. I'm guessing David knew a little bit more than he was saying, but people were pointing a finger at him and thinking maybe he should keep his mouth shut. I do get a sense that Roth wanted to go into the studio and make another album and tour again with Eddie and the band, but it wasn't to be.

We're left with an incredible music catalog that stretched over 40 years. There are too many good songs for me to list here. I just know that whether it was on MTV or the radio, we were always rocking out and having fun when Jump, Panama or Hot For Teacher came on. Life won't quite be the same. We're all getting older and some of the musicians and entertainers that we enjoyed when we were younger are passing away.

This year we lost one of the greatest drummers of all time, Neil Peart of Rush. Last year, we said goodbye to Eddie Money as well as Rick Ocasek of The Cars. Now we say goodbye to Eddie Van Halen. We'll never get to hear new music from him or see a new lineup or the original lineup get back together for one more tour. That makes me sad. At least we have the music that was made to remember him by. Thank you for the music Eddie.
 
Eddie Van Halen, Hall of Fame Guitarist Who Revolutionized Instrument, Dead at 65 Rolling Stone Magazine

Friday, October 2, 2020

Movie Review: Bill And Ted Face The Music (spoilers)

I really didn't think there would be a third movie in the Bill and Ted franchise. There were rumors here and there, but that's where it went. Considering the way sequels, remakes and reboots have been going in recent years, it didn't really upset me to think that they might leave this franchise as it was in 1991 with Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey. It's bad that because of the way movies have been going in recent years, people are wondering if this movie is woke. My answer to that question is yes and no.

Put yourself in the shoes of Bill S Preston Esquire (Alex Winter) or Ted Theodore Logan (Keanu Reeves). You have a time traveler from the future named Rufus tell you that you two are going to write the song that unites and saves humanity. At the time, these two guys were wanna be rock stars with a fantasy in their minds. They didn't have the ability to play music. They really didn't have the ability to pass the big history test and they might fail High School.

When Rufus comes into their lives, they are living an amazing adventure. At that point, it hasn't really sunk in that they have to write the song that unites humanity. They're traveling through time to pick up historical figures to help them with their history test. Then, they have an adventure where they get killed and have to find their way back from hell. Even at that point, they're only just realizing that they need to get serious about their music if they're ever going to write the song.

There are two points of contention that people who are going to cry "woke" will point out about this movie. The first is that at the end of Bill And Ted's Bogus Journey, they have two babies named Bill and Ted. It's clearly implied that they are boys. In fact, the writer even admitted that they were boys, but he had a problem writing these characters as boys. He felt a gender swap was needed in order for him to write characters who were interesting. Personally, I disagree with that. I don't think that the young ladies did a bad job in their roles, but I can see where people will already start having the "woke alarm" go off over their heads. By the end of the movie, they might even need new batteries for that alarm.

The other thing about the ending of Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey is that the two clearly formed a successful band. We see the montage at the end of the movie showing the exploits of the Wyld Stallyns. It's not clearly depicted at the end of the movie that they have written the song that saves humanity, merely that these guys went on to become successful. It wasn't some flash-in-the-pan run of a few months or a year. At least, that's the way the ending of Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey explains it. The writers have said that they weren't the ones who wrote that part, and they don't consider it canon.

We can dismiss that part as an end of the movie joke. You see the end of movies sometimes talk about such and such went on to become this and so and so went on to become that. Usually, that's meant to be a joke of some sort. The way it's explained in this movie is Bill and Ted had a hit and had some success, but then they collapsed under the pressure of having to write the big song. How do you write a song that's supposed to save humanity? No song of this nature has ever been written, and these two were told they were going to do that when they were teenagers.

The basic idea of this movie is that though Bill and Ted are good-natured, laid-back sort of dudes, they don't have the ability within them to write that sort of song. I'm a little bit disappointed that this is the route they took with it. We went along with the joke in the first two movies and took the ride with Bill and Ted. Yeah, these guys are slackers, goofballs or whatever you want to call them. But those of us who enjoyed the ride believed that one day they would do it. Rufus couldn't be wrong, could he?

We travel nearly 30 years into the future to catch up with Bill and Ted. They're still trying to live the rock and roll dream, but nobody wants to hear them play. They are on the verge of finally breaking up the band when it happens. The daughter of Rufus pays them a visit. Rufus was played excellently by George Carlin in the original movie, but sadly he passed away. I like the idea that the writers paid tribute to him by keeping his presence in this movie. We even have a really nice scene early in the movie to remind us of George. This visitor from the future is named Kelly. That's the name of George's daughter, and her father is Rufus.

Kelly's mother is now the supreme leader in the future. She has to make the big decisions, and she wants to meet with Bill and Ted. She wants to know why they haven't written the song. Then, they get the ultimatum. They need to write this song within a little over an hour and perform it, or the world as we know it is going to be no more. Talk about pressure. These two couldn't handle it for years, and now they're supposed to come up with a song under this kind of pressure? It seems hopeless. 

Bill and Ted devise a plan. They are going to take the phone booth time machine and go into the future. Their aim is to steal the song from themselves. There's just one problem with that scenario, which is funny to watch. If they haven't written the song by then, were they going to actually write it in the future? You can pretty much guess how this is going to work out for them, but it's played for laughs.

Bill and Ted's daughters are not your typical "woke women" of the movies we see these days. They actually adore their fathers, and they want to help them. They can see their families falling apart and their mothers getting ready to leave their fathers. When Kelly pays the present day another visit, the daughters come up with a plan. While their fathers are off trying to get the song from themselves, they are going to travel through time to get musicians to play in the band that will perform the song that saves humanity.

At this point, the daughters have total faith in their fathers. We're not seeing a couple of girls in the woke culture bringing down the patriarchy or any of that sort of thing. They love their fathers, and they want to do what they can to help them. The writers themselves say this is a love letter from fathers to daughters and daughters to fathers and a family movie. 

One might talk about whether this is woke or not, but if you don't see it as love for family, you're not paying attention. We even get to see some payoff between Ted and his father. They have their own troubled relationship from the previous movies that finally goes in a positive direction.

It's a good story, and it very much feels like a Bill and Ted movie. I might disagree with a few of the choices that the writers took. However, I get what they were going for. They did things that might appeal to the woke crowd, while also attempting to stay true to the story and make both audiences happy. I don't think I've seen anything like this attempted in the woke era. I think the cynical crowd who is opposed to the woke culture and woke agenda that is affecting popular franchises will reject this movie once we get to how the song comes about. 

I can't comment much more than that without spoiling the movie. I had a hunch it would go that way, but they handled it with respect to the characters that we love. I like this movie. It holds up well against the first two. It didn't have a point in it when I wasn't engaged, and it appealed to me emotionally. Keanu Reeves looks a little bit older these days, but he he's 30 years older. What do you expect? Alex Winter looks about the same as ever and really did a great job in the role of Bill.

The girls playing the daughters weren't exactly female versions of Bill and Ted, but definitely similar. Samara Weaving and Brigette Lundy-Paine did well, and the supporting cast were all good in their roles. I can't mention this without talking about William Sadler in his role as death. He was just as enjoyable to watch in this movie as he was in Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey. I like the cast, and there wasn't anybody in there that I thought hurt the movie. Even the robot played by Anthony Carrigan, who discovers his humanity, was enjoyable to me.

It didn't go exactly as you would think it was going to go after watching the first two movies. The writers changed it up, and that's going to upset some people. However, it was still a pleasant movie that stayed in the spirit of what came before it. I can think of a few other movie franchises that failed in that endeavor and pretty much gave a middle finger to their core audience.

I think for the people who are anti woke, I'd say just watch the movie for what it is and realize that it wasn't talking down to the male characters or belittling them. They still had an important role in the end. I recommend the movie. It wasn't as good as the other two, but it wasn't bad. It's an hour and a half of entertainment that takes you away from what's going on in the world. Considering what we're experiencing these days, this movie almost seems timely.

The "New Normal" And Gas Lighting

I can't tell you how much I dislike the term, "the new normal". It's used a lot these days given the situation that we're going through around the world. I've been tempted to comment on that, but if you don't express a certain opinion on that subject, you can get canceled. Only certain opinions are allowed to be expressed on that particular topic. Let me just say that the new normal is not normal at all. It's a paradigm shift. It's a change in the way our lives will be in the future, if we accept it.

When it comes to the current situation with the virus, it's become political. Our political climate in the United States has become increasingly more divided in the last 20 years. Therefore, we're not even having discussions. We're having arguments. It gets to the point where some people's opinions are so delicate that they don't even want to have a discussion with somebody who doesn't agree with them. Sadly, this is being cultivated by the media and the politicians themselves. It's basically a divide and conquer tactic, although some people don't realize what's really going on.

It's promoted by our media, certain commercials and our entertainment. Some of it's subtle and some of it's not very subtle at all. Think of it this way. You have a basic understanding of the way the world works. You know what's right and wrong. You've had your life experiences. It's not that you know everything, but there are certain fundamentals, certain truths that you know are real. You're being told by the media and through other entertainment that you are wrong. They repeat the narrative over and over again.

Let's call it what it is. It's gas lighting. They come at you with a slick presentation, telling you that what's down is up and what's up is down. If you don't see it the way they see it, you must be wrong. You know in your heart and in you're very being that you're not wrong, but you're being inundated. They call this gas lighting, and there's more of that going on in the world today. Do you give up on your basic principles and go along to get along? Then what? When they change what's supposed to be true tomorrow, do you just abandon what you were told was true yesterday and go along to get along?

I'm not even going to name a specific topic here, because that's not the point. If I name a topic, people are going to pick their sides. That's just the way the game is played. All that I'm saying is what we're going through in the world today is something completely different. They may call it the new normal, but it isn't normal at all. Some people see what is happening and speak up. Others see it too, but they don't want to say anything. Others are going along either through sheer ignorance, fear or because it makes them feel a sense of security..

It's not about letting some talking head, some news report, some movie or whatever bend your opinion to what they want you to think. It's not about being gas lit into doubting your very core beliefs. It's about trusting in yourself. Trusting your own opinions and your own ideology. Not being so rigid that you can't change your mind when given compelling evidence that points to other possibilities, but not just going along with the herd mentality. 
 
If people don't wake up to what's really going on in the world today and start thinking for themselves, the world we live in tomorrow won't be recognizable. Is it such crazy thought? Conspiratorial? You might think so, but sit back and watch and see what happens if people just keep going along to get along.