This was actually written abolition five or six years ago after participating in a Day Of Silence...
I chose to be silent Friday to join in with the students who participated in The Day Of Silence. It's funny, because when I heard about this, my initial reaction was that this was just something the kids in school were doing. What would be the point of me participating? As Friday morning approached, I made up my mind to join this effort.
Why? There are a few good reasons that I can think of. For starters, Lawrence King, Matthew Shepard, Gwen Araujo and way too many others are silent. This is not by choice. They were killed because they were gay or transgendered or lesbian. They can't speak up and tell us what they had to endure. They can't tell us how the words of hate hurt them every time they heard them.
Then, there are those who endure it now. They hear the words of hate, but they try to push forward. It can be difficult. You know, it isn't just murder that will kill them. Some find the emotional pain so unbearable that they commit suicide. They think maybe the next life will be more accepting of them. The words are so strong that some will deny who they are just to be accepted as "normal" by society.
Being young and in school is hard enough. You're trying to fit in. You're trying to make friends. You're trying to figure out who you are. You're trying to get good grades. When you add the words of hate that can spew out, it makes it hard to endure. Words like faggot, dyke, queer, freak or whatever are etched into your very soul. It will become extra baggage you carry with you for the rest of your life.
I can relate to this. I was bullied in school. I didn't look a certain way, so I got picked on. When you get bullied in school, it does something to you. It effects your confidence. It effects the way you view yourself when you are with others. You may get to a point where you avoid being close with people because you don't feel you measure up or you fear rejection.
Some of these kids will get stronger because of this. Some will get angrier and fight back. Some will withdraw. It's all part of life, you say? Well, it shouldn't be. We should not be judged because of the way we look. We should not be judged by our sexual orientation or gender. We should not be judged by the color of our skin. We should be judged by what type of person we are and how we treat others.
These words of hate are not something that kids or adults should just deal with. It needs to stop. Words of hate can do as much damage as a weapon can in the long run. These words need to be silenced. That's part of the point of The Day Of Silence as well. It's about educating people about the hate and why it's wrong to say such things.
I was moved by some of the pictures I viewed in one of my friend's videos. There were protesters, supposedly speaking for God. They had pretty posters and shirts saying things like "God Hates Fags". They had their kids wearing these shirts. This is simply not acceptable. It's parents like these who raised the kid who brought the gun to the school and shot Lawrence King in the head.
I was struck by what I read when I saw that King's family doesn't want the kid to be tried as an adult, because there's no sense in having another tragedy. Educate the boy. I know, that's not religious either. An eye for an eye and that stuff. I do understand the sentiment though. If you fight hate with hate, you get more hate, but if you fight hate with love, you can change the world. Isn't this sort of what Jesus was trying to teach us?
It's hard to think of it that way when you have a pastor from another state coming to California to protest at an event remembering Gwen Araujo. On top of that, you have the murderers using the "I was tricked" excuse to try and get away with it. It makes me angry enough to wish I could enact my own revenge, but that wouldn't bring Gwen back. This is why we have days like The Day Of Silence to call attention to what is happening so we can stop it from happening.
When you aren't talking, you have time to think. What would these kids have grown up to be? I understand Gwen had dreams of being a makeup artist. Matthew was involved in the community theater, loved to act and had an interest in politics. What might have been for these two if given a chance? What would Lawrence have grown up to be? Why did the hate have to take them away?
How can we start to educate the parents that it's okay to teach their kids to accept homosexual and transgendered people? How can we get them to understand that teaching acceptance to their kids won't make them gay? How can we teach the religious bible thumpers that God is love and that how we treat others on this Earth will go a long way towards determining what comes next for us after our lives here are through?
So many thoughts raced through my mind that they raced out before I could catch them. It's funny how you are more in tune with your thoughts when you don't speak. I had the choice to not speak, but others had that choice made for them. Still others are afraid to speak or be who they are because of what they think might happen to them. Living in fear is no way to live your life, and it's time we start to make a change for the better.
Being gay is not wrong, just as being straight is not right. It's just who you are. If two consenting adults make a decision to be together, they should be allowed to do it without a bunch of "moral" judgements being placed on them by people who think they know because of what they think their religion says. We don't know what awaits us on the other side, but if there is a judgement, it isn't up to us to make it.
What's funny is the word straight isn't thought of in a negative way, but the word gay is. Once upon a time, the word actually meant happy. I like feeling gay myself. It's much better than feeling sad. But, in addition to being another word for homosexual, gay is also used as a word to put down others. It's ingrained in our society.
Just yesterday, there were three or four instances I saw on television where gay was used as a put down for a joke on one show or another. We are fed this sort of hatred almost subliminally, and we don't recognize it. This method is used for other things, but I want to stick with this subject. Fact is, I have caught myself using gay in a derogatory manner, and it stops now. I made this decision on The Day Of Silence.
When I have seen things I didn't like on TV or wherever, I have made the comment, "that is gay" or something like "Liberace gay" or "Village People gay". The irony being I own one of their albums from when I was a kid, and I always liked their brand of happy dance music. Well, that's it, no more. If I don't like something, I'm going to use the language skills I was taught in school, not a slur.
It's funny, because I am for gay marriage and gay adoption and gay rights in general, and I would still go around and be part of the problem. Sure, it's not as bad as what's on the signs I saw in those pictures, but it's still a negative. If I make one person feel like less a person because I call something gay, even if I wasn't calling them that, I just participated in the hate. That's simply not acceptable to me anymore.
I can't go back and apologize to anybody I ever hurt by being insensitive. None of us can. I am sorry though. The best way I can make amends is to realize the basic truth, that our words mean things. They inspire actions, and if the words are negative, what do you think the actions are going to be? I want to be a part of the solution, not a part of the problem.
As I am prone to do, I have rambled on and on. I hope I can make a difference somehow. I want to bring about positive change. The Day Of Silence may be over, but the crusade to bring change is only just beginning. For Lawrence, for Matthew, for Gwen and all the others, we must fight on. We can save lives. We may never know what lives we will save, but one of those lives could go on to change the world for the better if they just get the chance.
