Getting Ghosted And Blocked Hurts

Ghosted By Somebody I Cared About 

This year has been an interesting experience for me. I wanted to be back in California. Circumstances led to me losing my home. I got depressed and didn't take action quickly enough back then. 

Somebody I loved dearly (my father) died, and I grieved too hard. I almost gave up on myself. Fortunately, I returned back to an old line of work, and it led to me moving to Oregon for six years.

While I was there, I was just focusing on work. I wasn't really living there. I was merely existing, if you know what I mean. I was almost living like a tourist, not fully embracing the fact that I was in Oregon. 

I wanted to come back to California, but I didn't think that would happen. It did. I got an offer I didn't think I'd get. There was some anxiety behind that which is another story. I struggled to accept the offer for reasons I won't get into, but they relate to my gender identity.

While that good news was coming, somebody I really cared about actually reached out to me via social media. This person is somebody I've been in orbit of for many years. 

I don't want to name names, and that makes it hard for me to write what I'm writing here. How do you describe what you're going through without really getting into why you're going through it? It's challenging, but I think I can do it.

This person reached out to me, and I didn't do my typical thing. I wasn't guarding my heart and just giving them the answers and love I could give them. I have done that a lot online. I end up helping people, but after they get what they want from me, they move on.

With this person, I was determined to dive in and take this experience wherever it went. Astrologically speaking, I knew the risks. I can't even get into that as it reveals something. 

While I was in Oregon, this person would wake me up with messages of good morning and describe their dreams to me. They'd tell me how their day was going throughout the day and then at night time wish me good night. 

We were exchanging many messages. During that time, the offer was made for me to come back to California, and I was stressing out over it. There was anxiety, but my friend was encouraging me to come back

Their own situation wasn't so good. They needed to get away from where they were. I've come to understand they've made this break a few times but they always come back to this person. 

They have a hold on my friend that is complicated. Part of it, in my opinion, is my friend still loves this person. Despite some dark things happening there, my friend still loves them.

I was determined to help get them out of the situation they were in, so I volunteered some financial support. Unfortunately, the person they were going to go to turned out to not be so good.

I had a hunch that was the case and was going to tell them, but they figured it out pretty quickly. That still left an investment in airline tickets that they couldn't get refunded, and they started talking about coming to see me.

The discussions for this move went on for probably two months, and things started getting a little bit complicated in May. I know what was going on, and I can't get into it too much. They were getting dragged down by something they've been struggling with for a long time.

Because we weren't communicating so well, I was tempted to tell them that they should go elsewhere if they didn't want to come to me and use the ticket. However, they literally contacted me a day after I made that decision. I said, "Yes, come stay with me."

The visit lasted for a month out of what was going to be four months. There were many wonderful moments that I'll cherish and treasure forever. There were other moments that were revealing and troubling, but we're all human. 

That didn't change the way I felt about my friend, and as far as they were expressing to me, it didn't change how they felt about me. They did keep telling me that they felt like they weren't helping my situation. My situation was fine, I would tell them. I was happy they were here.

They thought it would be better to go back to that person one more time. I was crushed, because I knew that wasn't a good move for them. However, that was the decision they made, and I had to respect it. I couldn't ask them to stay longer and think about it, as I wanted to. Hindsight being what it is, maybe I should have?

However, I hadn't put all the pieces to the puzzle together regarding how I could help them until the day they left. I think things over in my mind way too long, and I'm not a "decision on the spot" type of person. That's a weak point in this situation.

We expressed our feelings for each other and declared that we'd both be friends and keep in touch. That wasn't going to change. I have the things they wrote to me, and I'll always cherish them. There was no negativity expressed.

I did the only thing I could do. I let them go. I made sure they got to the airport in comfort by calling them a shuttle cab. It was a bit pricey, but their comfort was important to me considering what they were going through. 

We communicated through texts a few more times that day, and everything remained positive. After that, communications from my friend ceased completely.

I was sending a message about every day. Telling him how my day was going and asking them if they were okay. Did they need anything? Let me know and I'll do what I can. 

The text messaging got glitchy, and there were days I couldn't send something out. I started worrying, so I went to the social media site one day and sent them a message there. Same type of thing. 

The next day, the text went out okay, and a few days later, I found out I was blocked on the social media site that this person uses. I was shocked. I don't think I really processed what was going on that day. There must have been some reason that they'd explain to me, right?

There was never an explanation of what happened. There was never an explanation of if they were doing the one thing I think they were hoping to do when they got back there that would help them. There was never any communication as to why they would block me.

Did I upset them? Were they protecting me? Was it the person they were staying with? Nothing. I didn't feel like this was the way to end things, and I still don't. In my heart, I know it wasn't me. 

What I've been seeking is communication to tell me why. Just give me a reason. Or, let's communicate about whatever it was, move beyond and be friends. I thought we did have a connection that we could build on as friends for years to come.

I've been in this person's orbit for a long time, and I've always cared about them. The thing was I had an opportunity to try to make a positive difference in their life, and I wanted to do that. I invested of myself, my resources and my time to make a difference. I sort of felt like a failure in the end.

I probably would still be in their orbit on social media if I hadn't chosen to engage them in the daily conversations we were having. This is what led to them coming to my place for one amazing month. However, I wouldn't change it for the world.

I didn't think I could actually write this without revealing who this person was or the amazing things that happened. I've written this all in my diary to process it and make sense of it, but it still makes no sense to me. 

If they felt the things they were expressing to me the day before they left, why ghost me and ultimately block me? They could have at least told me, but they didn't. 

They refuse to say anything to me now despite my best efforts, and it hurts my heart everyday. I still wish them the best and pray for them, but a little piece of my heart goes with them from here on. I will always love them.

Lord of The Rings: Rings Of Power Is Off To A Good Start

Lord of The Rings: Rings Of Power Is Off To A Good Start

In all the talk about "woke" entertainment these days, I've heard people talk about why The Lord of The Rings: Rings of Power was going to be bad and woke. Rather than listen to what everybody else was saying, I wanted to see this for myself. I'm a big fan of JRR Tolkien and his writings on Middle Earth, so I had an interest in seeing this part of the history being told on the screen. I simply wanted to be entertained, and I was.

Amazon Prime paid big bucks to have the rights to make this series, and the only source material they are allowed to use is The Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit. Therefore, any history that they refer to can only be referred to from those books. 

Throughout The Lord of The Rings, the characters tell stories about ancient history, and there's also the appendices in the back of The Return of The King. That's basically what the writers had to work with. They can't touch The Silmarillion or Unfinished Tales or any of The History of Middle Earth books that Christopher Tolkien created with his father's notes.

When you're working with a timeline, but not an actual story narrative, that frees you up to be creative. A good writer will understand the spirit of the work and not go overboard. While some creative liberties were taken, I don't think anything that was done in this series damages the history prior to when The Hobbit takes place. 

I think they did a really good job with this story, and they had to know they were going to get critical responses from some of the hardcore Tolkien "purists" among the viewers. Some of those people actually like it, while others refuse to give it a chance.

First of all, I'll just say that if you like it or you don't like it, you're right. Opinion is subjective, and we all have our own tastes. Therefore, if you don't like this series, you're right. If you do like this series, you're also right. However, I would take issue with people who would call this series woke and dismiss it just on that label. 

The reason for the woke label is because people claim that modern day politics and clicking off racial and sexual orientation check boxes is being done to pander to people who aren't really fans of the work. In this case, there were black characters. There were black elves and black hobbits. There were strong female characters, and I don't have a problem with any of them. The story simply had to get from Point A to Point B. 

What they're covering in this story is the discussions that led to the creation of the Rings of Power. They're also talking about the rise of Sauron as he became The Dark Lord. They also threw in the Introduction of Gandalf to Middle Earth. As I'm going to be critiquing certain things about this season, if you haven't watched this yet, you may not want to read any further. 

I will say this series tells a good story of what was going on in Numenor during that particular time. We see some of the struggle the elves are having. We get to see the dwarves, which I think was a highlight of the season. We also see hobbits, which some people are going to take issue with. They're going to claim that hobbits weren't around during this time.

Basic Thoughts On The Season

I'll address the hobbits, because some might even question why they needed to be inserted into this story. I was curious myself, but I like the way they handled it. The hobbits were basically around so that they could introduce Gandalf to Middle Earth. Some are going to say this is too early for Gandalf or the hobbits. This is the Harfoot tribe of the hobbits, and they were known to migrate back and forth during different times of the year. This is prior to the hobbits settling into The Shire.

My view on the subject is that nobody can know for sure exactly when the hobbits came into being in Middle Earth. That's the beauty of these creatures. Sauron didn't even realize they existed, and that's why they were able to keep The One Ring in The Shire for so long and ultimately send hobbits to Mount Doom to destroy it. He didn't realize what was going on until it was too late. He basically dismissed the hobbits as insignificant, but they led to his ultimate demise.

Gandalf the wizard always had an interest in the hobbits. He always kept an eye on them to make sure they were safe, and he was always looking for one or two good hobbits to go on adventures with him. It makes perfect sense that they would introduce him in this way, and I don't think it takes away from the narrative.

When he gets there, he doesn't even know who he is, and it's one of the hobbits who shows him who he is. I like this part of the story, because it's not being made out to be bigger in the sense of the big Middle Earth picture. The hobbits are basically trying to exist under the radar at this time, and that makes sense.

The elves are fighting the orcs. Tensions are rising in Numenor from the humans towards the elves. These things are happening. All the hobbits would be doing is trying to survive. The fact that Gandalf would appear as some giant who played with fire just makes it an interesting thing that the hobbits dealt with. I also have to say that I like the characters among the hobbits and their leader. Yeah, a black hobbit, but he was a wise character and I liked him.

Let's talk about Galadriel, Warrior Princess. If I have a nitpick, it's that they made her the tough warrior leader of the elves. However, I'll point out that we don't hear a lot from Galadriel in the stories prior to Lord of The Rings. She was kind of the wise maiden of her people by then, and maybe the years did that to her. 

At the time of this part of the story, maybe she had a little bit more warrior in her. Yeah, somebody is going to take issue with my view here, but I don't care. I could do without it, but it doesn't take me out of the story in the least. I accept the fact that Galadriel could be this type of character at this point in the story.

Numenor was about ready to fall, and that's something we're going to see in the future of this series. We see some of the tensions going on there between the humans and the elves. The humans, at least part of their people, are jealous of the fact that the elves get to visit Valinor, but humans are not allowed. This jealousy is going to be played against the humans as the story unfolds. I liked this part of the story, so I'm not complaining about it. Everything advanced pretty well from here to the end of the first season.

The elves are fighting the orcs, and it's a struggle. I liked the elven warrior, who seemed to persevere through great challenges. I'm not bothered that the actor is black as he performed his role well. They also find an artifact that Sauron wants to get his hands on. Unfortunately, he does, and this leads to where the series ends. Get ready for the big battle to unfold next season. There were were some good fighting scenes here, and we see some of the suffering and destruction the people had to endure.

I think even the critics of this series enjoyed the dwarves. We get to see Durin and his people. His son has a relationship with Elrond that goes back many years, and we have Elrond asking a favor of him. Durin is initially unhappy because there had been so many years between the last time they saw each other and then, but their friendship rekindles. I think that the scenes with the dwarves were well acted and were very Tolkienrsque. I think even he would approve of that part of it, even if he were critical of everything else.

Lord of The Rings: The Rings of Power cost Amazon Prime quite a bit of money to make, but it is visually appealing. It was pretty well written, considering they had to create dialogue based on passages in books that only briefly describe things. They had to take the story from this point to that point without being able to see or use Tokien's complete work on the subject.

They've done all right, and so far I think this series fits right alongside the Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit as some of the ancient history. I like where they're starting, and I hope they get to a good destination point that we can be satisfied with.

I understand people being unhappy with woke entertainment, especially given the fact that some of our beloved franchises have been turned on their heads. I understand people being skeptical, but I think this series deserves a chance. At least at this point, they've done a good job in my opinion. 

They may have taken a few creative liberties that might not be agreeable to some, but overall they're giving respect to Middle Earth and the work of JRR Tolkien. I would hope people who might be skeptical would at least give this a shot before dismissing it entirely.

We're Missing The Point About Voting

We're Missing The Point About Voting 

We've come up on that November date, and all we hear about is how we've got to vote. How things are going to change. This party's messing up so badly, so we bring in the other party to fix it. Then, we go back to our lives. Something that was decided up in Washington or a state capitol ends up affecting us in a negative way, and then we get mad. Then we vote again.

What if I told you we're missing the point about voting? Yes, we should participate in the act of voting in this country. It's not only a God-given right that we have, but people have paid for that right with their blood. In some countries, people could get killed just for expressing an opinion, and in this country we have a right to vote. We get to go in there and cast our ballot for whatever it is we believe in, and then we see if what we voted for passes. 

I agree that we should be keeping an eye on the politicians to make sure they're keeping their promises. We also should keep an eye on the voting process itself to make sure it's fair. With technology as it is and other factors, can we really be sure that our votes are going where we cast them? Can we really be sure about the outcome of the elections? It's healthy to ask these questions, but voting isn't the only answer. No, it doesn't involve getting violent either.

We need to step up in our own communities and make a difference there. Some of us get overwhelmed by what's going on in the world. We feel helpless that we can't do anything about something that's happening. We might even cry about it, feel guilty or sad that we are doing nothing about it, but then we go back to what it is we do in our regular routine. If we can make a difference in the world, we should be doing it. However, we can be making a difference within our own community.

You might be able to donate food and clothing to a shelter to help the less fortunate. You might donate to various local charities that help people. You might even participate with some organization that makes a difference pertaining to whatever cause you believe in. There are many causes that we talk about in the bigger picture, but locally there are things that we can be doing to make the lives of the people affected within our own areas better. We just have to step out and do something.

This might have to do with going to a fundraiser, or we might just participate in a local park cleanup. Just little things that we can do within our community. Even going to a community gathering that's designed to bring us together. This is a place where you can meet people and get to know them. I've been blessed to be a part of a certain sporting community where I live. It's not a big one, but the things that we do within this community matter. We make people's lives a little bit better by what we do, and that makes a difference. 

Yes, we should be voting. However, don't think that the act of voting alone changes anything. We can't put all of the responsibility on politicians to fix things and not take any of the responsibilities for ourselves. We should participate in local politics and local community activities designed to make our own areas better. If everybody did that within their own communities that would make the world a lot better in the long run.

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